I use mindful awareness of my emotional and physical feelings as the subject matter for my paintings. Checking in with my body and how I am feeling, I picture those feelings as colors and shapes and textures, and then paint them. I try to get still and quiet and turn my focus inward to how I am feeling within. Painting is cathartic for me, at times, getting the feelings out of myself and onto the surface. Other times I am just stuck in the feeling, repeatedly coming back to similar feelings and images over and over, especially anxious fear based feelings. I have tuned in to my anxiety and fear and continue to fight with it and simultaneously accept it, or ignore it.
I use oil paint and R&F Oil paint sticks to paint out my feelings. I also incorporate graphite, and charcoal to physically smear out my feelings. I like the tactile nature of painting with my hands to smear paint around. I focus on the process of connecting to my feelings and painting my feelings out. I want to express my feelings, share them with others. The process of painting out the feelings is personal, and then identifying the feelings verbalizing and sharing with others is very vulnerable. I hope to role model that this process is so helpful in managing feelings.